Just Got Engaged—What Next?

You just got engaged—what next?? Getting engaged is exciting, but we can’t ignore that after this comes the leading questions and the expectations.

Couple sit closely together while woman looks serious and man rests his head against hers.

Couple sits with arms around one another on parking garage roof with capital building behind them.

Those mix with the overwhelming feeling of “there is so much to get done and I can’t make everyone happy” which leads one to reach for a paper bag to breathe into.

Man and woman stand next to lake and smile with their dog.

Man and woman kiss their dog while he looks straight ahead.

A wedding shouldn’t be this way—and it doesn’t have to be.

Couple enjoys drinking coffee together inside a coffee shop.

Engagement ring sitting near coffee cup.

Story Time

It was a spring day in April of 2012 and my boyfriend, Jonathan, and I we were walking around the campus of the University of Illinois. He had a fun date planned for us: he made mac and cheese, got some fresh watermelon, and other goodies to take with us.

A couple makes silly faces while eating watermelon.

Jonathan led the way to the roof of an engineering lab building where we enjoyed a rooftop picnic overlooking a beautiful view of one of the quads.

From there, everything was leading up to what I had guessed was happening. We went on a scavenger hunt all over the campus to places that were important to our relationship.

It ended at a spot called “The Eternal Flame” (I can’t make this stuff up, you guys). Written in chalk were the words, “Ashley, will you marry me?”

I saw those words and, even though I had a hunch where things were going, 20-year-old Ashley was still surprised. Jonathan barely had a chance to get down on one knee before I turned around, buried my face in his chest, and gave him a big hug and a kiss. Of course I said yes!

Woman smiles while sitting on a stone bench with "Will you marry me?" written in chalk.

Jonathan asked his friends to capture photos and video of the whole thing too which was perfect. He knew who he was marrying, haha.

Shameless plug: if you’re planning to propose, this is something we offer just so you know! We even wrote a blog about it here.

Woman in yellow dress holding onto the arm of her fiancé.

I remember how we couldn’t wait to share it all with everyone because there is so much excitement surrounding an engagement. But also, as one learns, there are a lot of expectations surrounding an engagement as well. When it went from just the two of us celebrating to telling everyone, there was more pressure.

Engagement ring stands out among brown leaves.

Couple sits closely together on a log in the forest with fall leaves all around.

Couple stands centered in front of a forest of trees and rolling hills.

What’s Next After Getting Engaged?

One of the things we want to help you tackle is what to do after you get engaged.

And the biggest thing we want to stress is not to rush. You need to go at the pace that is right for you and your partner—no one else. And, make sure you breathe between each step.

Man kisses woman's head while they are snuggled under a blanket.

Engagement ring is nestled on top of a snow-covered evergreen branch.

A couple holds hands while walking through the snow together.

Just Got Engaged? Here’s Some Advice:

Create Boundaries + Communicate Kindly

There will be people who will want to weigh in on everything. Let them know that you and your partner are taking your time to choose what you want for your wedding and don’t want suggestions right now. Create healthy boundaries for the two of you to work together on what your day looks like without a million other voices.

Couple laughs while talking together and strolling through the forest.

Get Engagement Photos Taken

This part is fun. Don’t skip it. It’s a date for you and your person to be together! If you want to book an engagement session with us, reach out!

Just got engaged! What next? This engaged couple pops some bubbly to celebrate!

Choose the Length of Your Engagement

There is no right answer. Our engagement was 14 months because we were finishing our last year of college. For others, it’s a 6-month engagement or less. Ask yourselves what is best for the two of you, your budget, and your season of life.

Couple rests forehead to forehead in a quiet moment at sunset.

Couple is laughing with arms around each other in front of a lake.

Just got engaged! What next? This engaged couple dances sweetly to celebrate their engagement.

Pick What Kind of Wedding You Want

Whether it’s a traditional wedding, a micro wedding, or an elopement, choose what’s best for you both. Check out our blog post here where we define the differences between each of these options as you look for the best fit for you. From there, you will have a better idea of the things you want to book and the things you can skip.

Couple holds hands while standing in lake with lanterns sitting on shore near them.

Make a Checklist

Now you can create a checklist to navigate the coming months ahead (if that’s your thing). The Knot has a free one here that you can log in, customize, and create to keep things organized. Even if it’s on a checklist like this, you don’t have to do it unless you want to. Your checklist should reflect what you want to prioritize most.

Couple embraces while the waterfall behind them is in focus.

Woman wears jacket that says, "Mrs." on the back of it.

Choose/Book Your Top Wedding Day Vendors

Take a big deep breath between each thing you book. You don’t have to book a million vendors to make your wedding amazing. Choose what you value most and go from there.

Couple holds hands on parking garage with capital building behind them.

Man and woman hold hands at bar while smiling at one another.

Couple laughing during piggy back ride on parking garage roof.

Top 7 Vendors to Book for A Wedding:

Wedding/Reception Venue/Location
Photographer/Videographer
Officiant
Wedding Attire/Designer
Wedding Planner
Caterer
Florist

Couple hugs really closely with big smiles.

A couple smiles in front of an evergreen tree in the snow.

Guests or No Guests?

Invite the people you want to invite or just have it be the two of you! If you and your partner don’t want to invite a million people, then don’t. If I could go back, I would’ve cut our guest list in half because there were people I don’t know at my wedding. That feels wrong to me.

Couple closes their eyes and rests against each other in a meadow.

Woman wearing engagement ring put hands on the back of man's head.

Spend Time Together

Don’t let this experience get the best of you. If you find yourself getting too stressed, talk about what you can do as a couple to make it less overwhelming. Take time to go on dates that aren’t wedding related and be together during the planning.

Man kisses woman's forehead while they stand amongst the trees.

We hope this allowed for you to think clearly as you move forward in your wedding planning process. One of our biggest goals is to help you not to feel stressed, but to enjoy your experience and the images/video captured.